"YOLO? I don’t even know anymore, what that even mean though? If you only live once why we keep doing the same shit? Back home where I come from we keep being born again and again and again. That’s why they invented karma.” - M.I.A.
i wanna see a talented Black woman in a video surrounded by long-back, rhythm-challenged white girls with long flat hair trying to shake their non-asses, while the talented Black woman twerks like a goddess. how's that for some motherfucking satire for you assholes.
“If men’s kindnesses toward women were really only kindnesses, a man would be pleased if another man or woman offered these kindnesses to him. He would be pleased if another man or woman lit his cigarette or pulled out his chair for him. He would be pleased to derive his income, prestige, power and even his identity from his partner. He would take pride in another man’s or woman’s offer to walk him to his car at night. But in fact, “one of the very nasty things that can happen to a man is his being treated or seen as a woman, or womanlike.”—(Frye 1983, p. 136).”
The idea of work and life being separate is outdated and impractical, he claimed. Instead, the New Relic engineer proposed something new: Nerd Life Balance, in which work and nonwork hours are no longer divided.
"What if we made work and life more like Velcro and less like sandpaper?" he said as his audience of programmers responded by nodding and clapping. "What if I could bring my nerd side home?"
Programmers - who are known to sleep under their desks, wear pajamas all day, and code for 16 hours straight without standing up - have long been pushing against workplace mores. Traditional labor unions have worked to strengthen the work/life divide, fighting for such separations as weekends and eight-hour workdays. Meanwhile, tech executives, who pay their employees partly in perks like haircuts, gym equipment and snacks, have built cultures that blur that divide. Programmers are encouraged to stay all night for “hackathons,” and many offices have nap rooms.
1. Your body is in flux for the rest of your life. Think of your body as fluid instead of static — it’s always going to change. So get comfortable with those changes.
2. No one will love you or not love you because of your body. You are lovable because you’re you, not because your body looks a certain way.
3. The most intensely personal relationship you’ll ever have is with your body. It’s a lifelong relationship that’s well worth investing in and nurturing the same way you would with loved ones.
4. You don’t owe your body to anyone. Not sexually, not aesthetically. Your body is yours. Period.
5. What someone else says about your body says more about them than it does about you. Look past the actual snark to the person who’s saying it, because it’s only a reflection of what they think of themselves. That’s when you’ll see how little power their words have.
6. Your body is not a reflection of your character. It’s a physical home for the complex and wondrous and unique being that is you.
7. Take up as much space as you want. You don’t have to be small, or quiet, or docile, regardless of your physical size.
8. Everything you need to accept your body is already inside you. There’s no book, or diet, or workout routine or external affirmation that you need to feel good about your body right now.
9. Your body is a priority. It’s always trying to tell you things. Taking the time to listen to is of the utmost importance.
10. Wear whatever you want. Your body shape does not dictate your personal style, and fashion rules that say otherwise are wrong. Dress yourself in a way that makes you feel happy and confident and beautiful, because guess what? You are.
“Sociologists use the term “androcentrism” to refer to a new kind of sexism, one that replaces the favoring of men over women with the favoring of masculinity over femininity. According to the rules of androcentrism, men and women alike are rewarded, but only insofar as they are masculine (e.g., they play sports, drink whiskey, and are lawyers or surgeons w00t!). Meanwhile, men are punished for doing femininity and women… well, women are required to do femininity and simultaneously punished for it.”—
what she means:Take a look at this. That right there is the mail. Now let’s talk about the mail. Can we talk about the mail, please, Mac? I’ve been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, OK? “Pepe Silvia,” this name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Pepe’s mail is getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia! Pepe Silvia! I look in the mail, and this whole box is Pepe Silvia! So I say to myself, “I gotta find this guy! I gotta go up to his office and put his mail in the guy’s goddamn hands! Otherwise, he’s never going to get it and he’s going to keep coming back down here.” So I go up to Pepe’s office and what do I find out, Mac? What do I find out?! There is no Pepe Silvia. The man does not exist, okay? So I decide, “Oh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper.” There’s no Pepe Silvia? You gotta be kidding me! I got boxes full of Pepe! All right. So I start marchin’ my way down to Carol in HR and I knock on her door and I say, “CAAAAROL! CAAROOOLLLL! I gotta talk to you about Pepe.” And when I open the door what do I find? There’s not a single goddamn desk in that office! There…is…no…Carol in HR. Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town.
You know, as someone who is attracted to/dates/loves/bones people of more than one gender, I didn’t question for a long time that if I was in a relationship that either was or seemed to be hetero that it fundamentally changed who I was. At the core. That’s a myth I bought and swallowed completely.
Thank you for writing this, and I hope you keep writing and that you make some amazing fiction that gives us non-normative narratives to think/feel/talk about.